We’re featuring a guest blog today from one of my colleagues, Dr. Allison Bremner. Dr. Bremner is a good friend who practices Upper Cervical Chiropractic in Boulder, Colorado at Atlas Chiropractic. We’re excited to share one of her blogs here:
You have all heard the statement that “you never know what someone is going through so always be kind.” Or, “walk a mile in someone’s shoes.”
Have you ever had the experience of thinking someone was so different from you only to find out you are more alike than not?
My name is Dr. Alison Bremner and I want to tell you a story about an experience with my friend and colleague, Dr. Cameron Call.
I met Dr. Call when I was interviewing him to join an Upper Cervical Chiropractic group. He was just out of school and was fired up about being an Upper Cervical Chiropractor. I remember thinking during the interview that this guy and I could not be more different in every way.
Let me tell you why. I think it would be best to explain myself and then explain what I saw him to be. I was a 35-year-old Hispanic, Native American and white, atheist, lesbian, with no kids, who grew up in California and now lives in Colorado.
I saw Cameron as a straight, white, Mormon, married with 3 kids who grew up in a very conservative household in Phoenix.
At the time the franchise group we were in was a very mixed bag of backgrounds and political views. We all had one thing in common: we dedicated ourselves to our work and wanted everyone to succeed in their offices. Throughout the years we had biannual team meetings with each individual coming together to work on our business.
I can remember times where I would think about Cameron and how different our lives were. We were always nice and supportive of each other, but by no means were we close friends.
I can distinctly remember one team meeting, in Hawaii, where some of us were going to go hike a waterfall. Cameron and his wife had rented a car and offered me a ride. Soon into the car ride, we started chatting about our personal lives. If you have ever met me before, you know I have no filter. So here I was with this ultra-conservative Mormon and his wife talking about my girlfriend and what we did for fun. I remember thinking, “This is weird and they are being really nice, but is this just for show? Are they later going to judge me or talk negatively about me?” The car ride ended and the hike was amazing. It’s Kuai, so it’s hard not to be.
As time went on Cameron made a decision to leave the franchise and I did not talk to him for several years. One day, I heard a rumor that Cameron was getting a divorce, but I did not know why. After a little searching on social media, the answer had become apparent. He was gay.
My first thought was thinking he was very brave to come out in the social environment that he was part of. I have personally known conservative Mormons that have come out as gay and basically lost every friend and family member that they had. And to be fair, I have known some Mormon families that have been very accepting and supportive as well. I had no idea what Cameron’s experience was.
I decided to message him to see how things were going and to let him know that I was here if he wanted to talk about anything. I also wanted him to know that he was very brave for doing what he did and that it will affect someone in a positive way. He might never know who: a friend, a patient, or even someone who follows him on Instagram.
Cameron was very excited to hear from me and we set up a time to talk. He told me his whole story and that he knew he was gay since he was 9! That is a long time to be keeping this secret. During our conversation, he told me that he also remembered our car ride in Hawaii and how he secretly wished that he could be living his authentic life. He was thinking the whole time, “We are the same and I can’t say anything about it!”
The point of this blog is you never know what someone is thinking on the inside, and that we are more similar than we are different.
If you haven’t picked up on this yet, I am very proud of Dr. Cameron Call. He has done what we should all strive to do. That is, to live the life you truly desire (this happens to be what I personally stand for).
When you are reading this I hope you think about how you can live the most authentic version of your own life. Many times in life we portray the version of ourselves that we think the world wants or should see. The simple truth is you can only keep that up for so long. If we try to hide the real person inside, it will slowly eat at you until you inevitably have a breakdown. The other truth is, the world actually wants and loves to see authentic people! We all get inspired by genuine people who are living the life they love. There will always be people who will judge and disapprove, but it is impossible to make everyone happy no matter what you do. So you might as well make sure you are making yourself happy. When you are the happiest, you have the energy to give and contribute to your community in the best ways possible.
I am so glad I have recently reconnected with Dr. Call. I hope you have also been inspired by his decision to let the world know who he truly is. I am sincerely happy that I can call him, not only my colleague, but my friend. Keep on living your happiest life, Doc!
To learn more about Dr. Alison Bremner check out her website at https://alisonbremner.com/